Monday December 2nd

So it’s been awhile since my last post, hope all had a safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving.

I’m going to veer off my usual type of post, I’m gonna wax philosophical in a way.

If anyone actually reads my blog you’ll know that 2 months ago we had to put down a most beloved dog named Lady. She (to my wife and I) was simply the best dog ever. She wasn’t perfect, but she WAS perfect for us. I’m going to get personal for a minute. I loved this dog from day one, she came to us at 7 weeks old and gave us 5 amazing years of her loyalty, goofiness, temperament and unceasing never failing love for us. If we’d go away and leave her with friends or family she would pine for us the entire time, she was very special to us. To the personal part. About 4 or so years ago my wife became pregnant and we were so thrilled that this was happening! Holy shit I’m gonna be a dad! Well, it wasn’t meant to be, the pregnancy was ectopic meaning that the fertilized egg never made it out of the fallopian tube. This required a surgical procedure to terminate the pregnancy due to the fact that if left alone would kill my wife. This obviously hit us hard as it would anybody, but, as it does life goes on and so do we. In turn everything in us that we would have given to our child went to Lady. I think it’s obvious that I am not talking about toys or any sort of tangible things. I’m referring to all our concern, affection and love. Time passed and we had moved on thinking maybe kids aren’t for us but kept the idea open for future discussions. We were happy with our family as it was and we were content with our lives.

A few years had passed and my Instagram and Facebook posts were literally only of the dog lol. I can’t remember exactly when but the subject of starting a family resurfaced, with caution. I was leery considering what had happened before but excited at the prospect of having a son or daughter. We decided that we should talk to a fertility specialist.

Before we went ahead with the fertility treatment another surgery looked. I honestly can’t remember why the procedure was necessary but while the doctor was in there she saw that one of her fallopian tubes had twisted so severely that it killed the attached ovary. The thing was just gone, not a piece of it left, she said that her body probably absorbed it. Even after all that we went ahead with the IVF process, twice. Oh and she had to have procedures after each round of IVF to remove the failed attempts. After all this she told me that she just couldn’t do it anymore and didn’t want to try anymore. After everything she went through there was no way I was gonna fight her on it, her health is much too important to me to risk anymore harm to her.

Time passes again and at this point had turned the page. We we happy with our lives the way it was and had accepted the fact that we wouldn’t have kids. So again Lady became the recipient of even more love and affection. Fast forward to October 2nd when we lost our precious Lady, fuck you cancer. About 3 weeks ago my wife comes home and tells me out of the blue that she’s pregnant! Holy shit! We didn’t know how to react given our experiences.

Here’s where I get philosophical. The doctor puts the time of conception within a day or 2 of Lady’s death. Someone once told me that dogs will hang on until they know that their masters will be ok. She knew, I’m convinced of it. She knew that we’d be sad but that happy things were ahead of us. A life for a life.

I’m happy to say that she is still pregnant and everything is going well so far. Another random thing happened, my dad’s best friend contacted me out of the blue and tells me that he has my great grandfathers cane and he wanted me to have it. To me it just seems weird that my wife gets pregnant seemingly as a parting gift from a beloved friend. Now a family heirloom surfaces that I can maybe pass on to my child. It just feels like forces that I can’t explain or comprehend are working to help us, for the first time in a long time I’m optimistic about the road ahead.

Thanks for listening, talk to you all later.

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