I hope everyone out there had a safe and happy 4th of July, wife and I had a really nice day which I spoke about in my last post.
This being Sunday I want to talk about something. Do you all remember what it was like when we were still in grade school? That feeling of dread because you have school in the morning and don’t want the weekend fun to end. Guess what? It never fucking ends!! As adults we muddle and grind through the workweek and then Friday come with a feeling of relief and excitement, yay the weekend!! Saturdays are great!! Saturday mean the beach or golf or a workout at the gym where you don’t have to keep checking the clock cuz you don’t want to be late for work. You can do yardwork of that’s your pleasure or spend the day chained to your ps4, whatever you want!! Even if you have kids Saturday’s are fun as hell. No kids for us but that’s a story for another day. Anyways I’m getting off topic. Sundays aren’t too bad either I guess, the only problem is that whatever you’re doing you’re probably thinking “ewww back to work tomorrow.” At least that’s how I feel, every fucking Sunday. When you’re a kid you at least have summer time when Sunday’s are just another day.
I bring this up because sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who still gets like this on Sunday. I don’t know if it’s my sometimes crippling anxiety that makes me feel like this or if I’m one of a billion people that feels this way. Having anxieties in this life is unfortunately a part of being human. Some of us unfortunately have a very limited capacity when it comes to being in control of said anxieties. I am one of these people. Sundays are awful, I don’t love my job, a sentiment shared by many I am sure. That being said Sunday can be a miserable day. Why? Because people that have anxieties for some reason unknown to me don’t live in the moment. We become anxious over imaginary scenarios that probably won’t even come to be. To some of you that may sound like some sort of paranoid schizophrenia. The two things may be closely related, I don’t know I’m not a doctor. I do know that we are haunted by what ifs. What if I’m late, what if I get sick, what if I have to clean shit off the walls again in the mens room. These are examples of things that happen to a lot of people in their every day lives. Things that you take in stride that you never give any thought to until it happens. Someone with anxiety will think about, stress over and even hide in their bedroom and cry over. And that’s before the thing even happens. That’s the unfortunate life some of us live. Some people will say that it’s just an excuse or we’re looking for attention or any number of ignorant statements. Those are the people that I hope to maybe reach in this blog. Not to say I told you so or anything but to maybe educate a little, I don’t know I’m no expert. I do know that mental health issues aren’t taken seriously by those who don’t deal with them. Also I hope that someone WITH mental health issues will read this and not feel so alone in the world.
This particular Sunday I’m feeling anxious, as usual, but it’s mingled with an excited anxiousness. Granted I do have to report to stupid jury duty tomorrow morning. Hopefully I won’t get stuck on a jury because I can’t afford anymore time off work, literally can’t afford it. I have a million things that I’m worried about but nothing much going on at work, because anxiety lol. To go along with the normal level of Sunday anxiety I’m also excited! Next Sunday we leave for a couple of days to go to New Hampshire. So that Sunday will be full of driving for the 3 hours with a whiny dog anxiety haha. Taking a much needed little vacation. Also this week my older sister is coming up from Florida for a visit! Super excited to see her and my nieces. This isn’t a typical week in my world, there are actually a few things I’m looking forward to, not just a normal week where I only have work to look forward to. I forgot to mention, and I may be more excited for this than vacation, we’re going to meet a doggy that may be a new addition to the family. On our way to where we’re staying we are stopping by a wonderful rescue group to meet 2 potential family members. If we could take them both we would but unfortunately we can only take one of them.
Writing a blog can be challenging, maybe because I’m so new to it. I have so much to say and I’m realizing that you have to pace yourself so that you don’t say everything in one post haha. I’m no writer, again, just a normal blue collar dude doing his best.
Talk to you all later.